used to live, once, on expectation and memories
the fulfillment of one was the trap of the other
ensconced is the term that most comes into mind
and now, like most, I waste a whole lot of effort
not seeing or being with anyone else, distracted
and ignoring what I know: I seek out what I want,
that which most resembles me. call it comfort.
get lost in the tumble, rub the bull out of your eyes
it's useless to insist on sensible admonitions.
is it so early yet that your hand becomes a feature
of on your face? a solemn expedition to retrace
all the impacts upon you until the next stop
x
If I were in the place I was meant most to be
would the people be similar, as they are
and not as they seem? would I still be so?
would I still be me? I know we tend to huddle,
and there hope that there is truly some
affinity, but the arms that are willing to
hold you are just as able to elbow out all
who least fit into that cherished profile -
the repetition of me, we, us. losing, lost.
x
I think I'm better off rattling off absurdities
I tend to linger more, wallow, all the gunk that
follows. respectable fellows! groomed as we are
to resist in our minds the oppressive cognition
of ourselves as rows of fed cannisters = rejoice!
(Originally posted on Wednesday, April 16, 2003?)
empieza de una vez: no es un alarido
y no te des por, sino acéptate como
tal. “Qué escaño; es que nunca íbamos a
venir,” concluye. Si te forras con muros de piedra ...
empieza otra vez = entonces, como si en
una pecera vivieras. La imagen era la
de hombres calvos abarrotando una
peluquería ...
demasiadas interrupciones = se ...
(y ni un momento de tranquilidad = pues, no
la busco.)
todo olía a aceite – de repente – parecía que
nos queríamos quemar vivos, todos, juntos
pero sólo por el hecho de estar uno al lado
de la otra, no porque nos sentíamos y menos
porque nos asemejábamos. todo está borroso =
demasiados años en frente de la luz,
quemándome los ojos, esta película gris.
aquellos viejos cuentos de cómo la gente
sospecha de lo que no conoce siguen siendo
ciertos, y lo usan para que sigamos cayendo
aunque conozcamos el engaño al final no nos
es extraño, “baja del peldaño, tú, técnico de
antaño” se me ha hecho tacaño este trozo de papel
«tardé una semana»
2002-12-29 –> 2003-01-05
(Originally posted on Wednesday, April 16, 2003?)
[Greetings! This space will serve as a repository for some writings (in English and/or Spanish) which appeared in a soon to be eliminated “weblog” called “RuBtHeBuLlOuT”. After which one hopes to continue depositing more texts/words here, as there, before. Thanks for reading!]